I've gone back and forth on making this public knowledge since the moment I saw the big 'ol YES on that pee stick....

After 11 weeks of debating with myself, I've finally decided to share that Joe and I are expecting! I honestly feel no obligation to make a social media pregnancy announcement, but through my own journey I have found that reading about other people's life experiences has helped me grow, become enlightened, and better myself. I hope by sharing my journey I can kinda-sorta-maybe do that for at least one person.

With me having Cystic Fibrosis, becoming pregnant wasn't even something that I was 100% sure I would ever get to experience. 99% of men with CF are sterile and many women with CF can't conceive naturally. We weren't planning our pregnancy- nor were we preventing it. We simply just put it in the hands of the universe and chose not to stress about it either way. Thankfully, we got lucky. Even though we weren't supposed to be stressing about it, I thought about it... A LOT. I mainly worried that someday down the road I would want it so badly and I was terrified to think that no matter how strong willed and determined I was to become pregnant, it may just be something my body never did. I've never let my CF stop me from achieving my goals, but this scenario could change that.

Fast forward to October 22nd as I'm getting ready to go to work and I'm shaking looking at the + pregnancy test. My brain literally read it as "Wait? What? Yes, I'm NOT pregnant?". Since that moment, I thank the universe everyday for the opportunity to be able to grow another life inside of my body. A life that is half me and half the man I am madly in love with. It is so crazy to think about growing a little 'us'. There are so many women who want this experience that may never have it and I just feel SO damn lucky. Even with the nausea, heartburn, restless nights, brain fog, pimples, and bloating- I feel like the luckiest, most badass, chick in the world. There is no symptom that could take away from the joy of growing my baby. (But f'realz though... now that I'm in my second trimester most of those symptoms have gone away #notcomplaining).

The first 12 weeks were miserable when it came to exercise. Pre-baby, I usually made it to Crossfit 3-4 times a week, but after finding out I was pregnant everything was 10x more heavy, I was tired, and working out was the last thing on my mind. On top of all that pregnancy stuff, I also ended up needing a 2-week round of IV antibiotics for my CF. Now that I'm 15 weeks and back to healthy lungs, I have a lot of my energy back and have been getting back on track with my normal workouts. All of the weight still seems really heavy- I've had to decrease my normal lifting weights, but my motivation for being back in the gym is returning and that's all that counts. Healthy momma = healthy baby, right?

I'll be honest that Joe and I have gone through every emotion in the book, but we are so excited to meet our little lama. I've been obsessed with stylized nurseries, baby clothes, names, wondering what they will look like, baby shower ideas, and making a registry of the necessities. I've dreamt it's a boy. I've dreamt it's a girl. I've dreamt about giving birth. & YUP- I've officially become "one of those people" (hah!). Some days it still doesn't even feel real, but I feel my tummy everyday hoping to feel a little tiny kick to give me a hard shove into 'this is happening'!

And I know that after all of this planning and imagining our life with a new baby, the time will come for the birth. I'm so excited (with a double shot of scared) to give birth. I know my body is capable and incredible and I can't wait to experience those moments with my little bambino no matter how it unfolds. I'm planning and putting all of my energy into having an unmedicated birth, free of medical interventions. The mantra that I cling to is that 'Our bodies are made to give birth'. I have my crazy awesome doula, Jaclyn, on my side and I've finally found a midwife practice that feels like home. Not only will Jaclyn be my rock, she's going to document my whole birth experience, and encapsulate my placenta for me (yay hormones!). No matter what birth plan a woman chooses, I wish everyone going through pregnancy and birth could have her by their side- she's a wealth of knowledge and an amazing energy. Feeling confident in my support team has made me so incredibly confident in myself.

I'm beyond ready to meet our little bean. Only 25 more weeks to go.....

*** 1-6-15 UPDATE: I had a 15 week growth scan and we got to find out the gender of our little lama!.... drum roll please...... WE'RE HAVING A GIRL! It was amazing to see our little bub finally like like a human instead of a bean! She was so active and kicking her legs all over the place. She is growing perfectly for her age and I swear she looks like me ;) ***

Ps... #1 craving? Eel + avacacdo sushi. #1 aversion? Eggs.

YUP! IT'S HAPPENING!...

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